Every Transformers Fanfiction Ever Written
by Goggleplex
Summary: Everyone joins in this script style parody from Optimus Prime to the Insecticons. G1G2 characters. Rated for Cybertronian cursing. One Shot


**Every Transformers Fanfiction Ever Written**

Parodized By, Goggleplex

A/N: I do not own The Transformers, Hasbro does.

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**_THE EXPLANATORY FIC:_**

(Optimus Prime does something interesting. The Camera fades to black in the middle of it.)

Camera: Well, I'm done here.

Author: Like hell you are.

**_T_****_HE BACKSTORY FIC:_**

Perceptor: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.

Author: Now you do!

Perceptor: ... hooray?

**_THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2:_**

Elita One: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.

Author: Well, we can't have that.

**_THE MARY SUE:_**

Starscream: I'm OOC.

MistySpace-sue: I'm stereotypical.

(Awkward moment.)

Starscream: I love you.

MistySpace-sue: I love you too, snookie-ookie-wookums.

_**THE SELF-INSERT:**_

Optimus Prime: Something is wrong.

Self Insert: I can fix it!

(She does.)

Optimus Prime: You're very strong.

Self Insert: I can beat you all up!

Optimus Prime: You're fourteen.

Self Insert: And I can solve all your problems!

Optimus Prime: That's wonderful! We trust you utterly!

**_THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC:_**

Hot Rod: We won! It's over!

AUTHOR: Like hell it is.

(New Villain appears, looking startlingly like the AUTHOR.)

Villain: ... rar?

Hot Rod: Well, shockit. Gather everybody up again.

AUTHOR: Yay!

**_THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC, PART 2:_**

Ironhide: We won! It's over!

Mirage: Suddenly I feel so... evil.

Ironhide: Shockit. Everybody, get back here.

Ratchet: I'll bring the angst!

**_THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC, PART 3:_**

Jazz: So, here it is, 5,000 or 10,000 or even 100,000 years later.

Sideswipe: We're all old and we've gotten on with our lives.

(Something happens.)

Jazz: Well, shockit. Everybody?

Sunstreaker: I'll be right there! Where are my new replacement windows?

**_THE AU:_**

AUTHOR: So if this never happened then this happened instead and this never happened and then this happened, and...

Starscream: ... who am I?

Megatron: I'm so lost. I don't think I used to be this nice.

READERS: Whoa. Cool.

**_THE AU, PART 2:_**

Bombshell: ... this isn't an AU, I'm just ridiculously OOC.

Kickback: I think that's thanks to the freakishly modern-day setting.

Shrapnel: ... someone, help, I'm having an identity crisis-crisis!

Bumblebee: Jeans! I'm wearing jeans!

_**THE FISH OUT OF WATER:**_

Prowl: Help me! I've been yanked out of my world and dropped into the real world!

AUTHOR: Hi there!

Prowl: Help!

(See: MARY SUE.)

**_THE CROSSOVER:_**

Luke Skywalker: Where am I?

Rodimus Prime: What are you doing here?

Luke Skywalker: Who are you?

AUTHOR: Play nice!

(Wackiness ensues.)

**_THE PWP (HET):_**

Hot Rod: I'm straight!

Arcee: What a coincidence! So am I!

(They have sex.)

**_THE PWP (HOMO):_**

Starscream: I'm straight!

Skywarp: Like hell you are.

(They have sex.)

_**THE CUTE ROMANCE:**_

Carley: I am flirting.

Spike: I am flirting too.

Carley: Aren't we cute?

Spike: We are!

(They kiss, or hug, or just eye each other meaningfully.) (_sorry I just couldn't put a non-human through that junk._)

_**THE ANGSTY ROMANCE:**_

Soundwave: This is so wrong.

Jazz: Yet this is so right.

Soundwave: I love you yet I hate you.

Jazz: Shut up, glitch, and kiss me.

Soundwave: Shortout you!

Jazz: Hey, don't mind if I do.

Soundwave: Noooo!

(Someone dies or kills self.)

**_THE CONFLICTED ROMANCE:_**

Starscream: I love you!

Skyfire: I love you!

Thundercracker: I love you too!

Starscream: ... shockit.

Thundercracker: Angst.

Skyfire: Woe.

Starscream: I just can't decide!

READERS: For Primus' sake! Flip a coin!

**_THE ANGSTFEST:_**

Starscream: Woe.

(Bad shit happens.)

Starscream: Angst.

(More bad shit happens, sometimes in flashback.)

Starscream: Alas.

(Starscream dies or kills self.)

**_THE ANGSTFEST, PART 2:_**

Starscream: Woe.

Skyfire: I'm sorry.

Starscream: Angst.

Skyfire: I wish I could help.

Starscream: Alas.

Skyfire: Please, let me heal your soul.

Starscream: Okay.

(Everything becomes fine.)

**_THE PARODY:_**

Megatron: Something OOC and highly ironic.

Soundwave: Equally OOC and ironic response.

(OOC stuff happens.)

Rumble: Highly OOC ironic commentary.

(Hopefully, the READERS laugh.)

**_THE INCOMPETANT PARODY:_**

Ratchet: OOC and scatological!

Wheeljack: OCC and mispeled j0!

(Nothing happens.)

Red Alert: OOC response!

Perceptor: Dorky laughter!

**_THE SONGFIC:_**

Jazz: I quote lyrics to a popular song in a meaningful way.

AUTHOR: I am saved from having to be original.

Jazz: More lyrics are quoted as I perform appropriate actions to them.

AUTHOR: I hurt people with my perceived depth.

READERS: AUGH get this BSB song out of my skull AUGH.

_**THE POEM:**_

Skyfire: Angst. Woe. Oh dear. Oh no.

AUTHOR: Hey! Not like that, that rhymes.

Skyfire: Oh. Sorry. Um. Angst. Woe. Depression. Sentence fragments. Oddly indented phrasing.

AUTHOR: That's better.

**_THE HOLIDAY FIC:_**

Rumble: ... but why would we celebrate Christmas? We're so obviously not Christian.

Ramjet: And I've not really the type to be this happy.

Frenzy: It doesn't snow in the middle of the ocean!

AUTHOR: Shut up and string tinsel. My fic.

**_THE MOOD PIECE:_**

Cyclonus: Nothing is happening.

AUTHOR: Mood.

Cyclonus: Nothing is still happening.

AUTHOR: Mood.

Cyclonus: But it's not happening in a very pretty and adjectival way.

Galvetron: So it is.

AUTHOR: Mood.

(READERS snore.)

**_THE CONFUSING FIC:_**

Arcee: What happened?

Hot Rod: Shortout if I know.

AUTHOR: It's symbolic!

Arcee: ... Sparkit.

**_THE CONFUSING FIC, PART 2:_**

Rumble: What happened?

Frenzy: Shortout if I know.

AUTHOR: hur hur hur th1s suxx0rz j00 r so GAY!!! R&R pl33z!!!!!!!

Rumble: ... Sparkit.

**_-End Parody-_**

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The idea for this story isn't mine. This is just a parody of a parody from Hope you enjoyed it though! If I missed a story type tell me and I'll add it on with others in the next installment! (Note I couldn't think of anymore so this is officially a one-shot)  



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